Taylor Swift has been looking for a man! And she found that man in Tom Hiddleston.
She finally was able to get out of that bad boy phase, that bad boy ADDICTION. And that’s hard to do!
Instead of badgering her and breaking her down we should be celebrating her for being in what has the makings to be her first real adult relationship.
Taylor seems to have done the work. Her relationship with relationship with Calvin Harris didn’t end in a fiery rage, it simply, seemingly, expired. It was calm. It was adult.
What that communicates to me is that she grew up. She doesn’t need, nor want the drama anymore. Again…
She’s ready for, and she has found, her man.
Taylor’s relationship with Calvin seemingly was the first step in the right relationship direction. Before him, she wasn’t actually in love, she was only in lust, and maybe even obsessed.
In the past, it wasn’t safe for her to open her heart. Because when she opened her heart, it was broken.
Calvin showed her that it’s safe. I believe that Calvin allowed her to feel Safe and Seen in their relationship: those are 2 of the 3 Core Relationship Essentials. The third is Sexy.
Safe
You feel physically, emotionally, financially safe with them.
Sexy
You feel sexy when you’re with them.
Seen
You feel seen and hear for who you are, no façade, no makeup, no perfection… just you- and you’re loved even more because of it.
Calvin set the stage for Tom. He showed her what a real relationship, one that’s healthy, looks and feels like. He showed her that it’s not about the drama or even about the crazy explosive fireworks. It’s calm, it’s easy, it’s adult, and just feels good.
But they broke up. And she was sincerely heartbroken. Because it’s heartbreaking to be faced with the reality that your fantasy is not coming true.
But, thanks to Calvin, she finally knew what she needs in a relationship. She was therefore on her Dating Purpose to find the 3 Core Needs: Safe, Sexy, and Seen.
And now, because Taylor was on her dating purpose, because she had real clarity as to what it is that she was looking for and needed, she found that.
That’s what happens when you’re dating on purpose. You find what you’re looking for.
So now the question is: Is she going about it the right way?
Maybe flaunting it isn’t what she should be doing. But I don’t believe it’s out of spite. I believe that she simply wants to show the world that she is finally with a good guy who is good for her and who makes her happy. Doing, what appears to be, paparazzi photo shoot happens to be how she is used to announcing her new relationship status… kind of how the rest of the world does it on Facebook.
Is she rushing in? Is she going to fast?
Maybe.
But we don’t know what conversations they have had, how emotionally close they have gotten, how honest they have been about their mistakes from the past and what they have learned about who they are and what they realistically looking for in the future, and how connected they have become thanks to opening their hearts and allowing themselves to be vulnerable. If they have done all of that- they can go as fast or slow as they want.
The speed of the relationship doesn’t dictate the success of it.
Hopefully this relationship will be sealed with a different type of music single. One that isn’t a heartbreak song, but instead a real love song.
